


Ineffable Husbands

by BigFrickingSimp



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20654948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigFrickingSimp/pseuds/BigFrickingSimp
Summary: AU:Aziaphale is a food critic and Crowley is a terrible chef





	Ineffable Husbands

It's said that the average food critic can be easily bribed into giving better reviews, this doesn't (usually) include the outstanding ex-chef, food critic Aziaphale. 

Aziraphale is an angelic soft ball of happiness, Azi here is a medium-sized whited haired cutie. Aziraphale is wearing his usual tarten creme themed outfit that he wears to most of his rewiewing nights. Aziraphale supernaturally becomes very serious when food is mentioned. Other than his bone-crushing reviews, Aziaphale could never hurt a fly, in fact, he refuses to as its an act in injustice because, he like many others, believe that every living thing deserves to be alive, even sister slug. 

The restaurant that Aziraphale is reviewing is called 'Snake n' Shake', where we find our happy man grinning from ear to ear, ready to help someone learn how to 'improve' their cooking skills.

Our chef Crowley is currently tending to his plants, of course shouting at them. "You better not disappoint me today or you're all THROUGH!" Crowley is a tall lanky man, with dashing red hair (which changes style every week or so) and glaring yellow eyes that no ones know if they are real or just some cool contact lenses. Crowley is wearing black (a bit to skinny) skinny jeans and a black suit jacket over a plain black tee-shirt, with a grey fabric tied around his neck in a necklace fashion and his outfit is topped with his iconic black glasses blacking out every side to his eyes.

Walking into the 'Snake n' Shake' you'll notice 3 clear things. 1, the owner is a fan of snakes. 2, the owner is clearly mad with the number of plants within one dining room. 3, the owner clearly doesn't like people, as there are only 3 other workers within the entire restaurant, well 4 if you include Beelzebubs boyfriend Gabriel. Even among such chaos, the place is still elegant and intoxicating, mainly due to the hand made swanky snake tiles that floor the entire building and accompanied by the most stunning plants in all of London.

Aziraphale finds his way into interrupting Crowley's shout and becomes startled. "Oh I'm sorry sir, did I frighten you?" Crowley asked softly, the second he looked at Aziraphale his entire posture and facial expression softened. "Oh yes, I have a reservation. I'm Aziraphale." At this point Aziraphale had almost forgotten why he was in the restaurant. Having realising the 3 main facts about this place, Aziraphale had found a 4th. That is that the chef is incredibly handsome, without a doubt. And before he could process his thoughts Aziraphale uncharacteristically blurted out his thoughts.

"Are you single?" Aziraphale was spontaneously over ran by a red army of colour. This caused Crowley's heart to begin at a unhealthy rhythm. He was able to keep calm but found the fidgeting angel very amusing. "I have been single for a long time, what about you?" He began his sentence quite nervously but reaching the each of it he felt adventurous. This only caused the angel to fidget more. "Urm, yes I have been single for a long time too." Aziraphale answer almost laughing at the end. He soon decided to change the subject. "Could you show me to my table please?" This comment was only followed by a gentle nod from Crowley and him leading Aziraphale to the best view in the house, Crowley taking his order and going of to cook it.

Crowley was soon seen moving across back to the angel with 3 plates of different foods. One consisting of the typical sushi, one consisting of a tuna steak and the other consisting of Crowleys personal favourite, his homemade vegetable stew. The stew being Crowley's so he could join Aziraphale for dinner, if allowed.

"Here you are sir." Crowley ever so gently said as he placed the two bowls in front of Aziraphale. "Ah thank you Chef, may I ask what the last bowl is?" Aziraphale began to wonder all things, like how there was no such thing of a stew on the menu because if there was he would if gotten it quicker than a beat of a lambs tail. "Ah yes, this is my tea. I prepared it while I cooked your food. I was about to go of to the and eat." This caused Aziraphale to become happy, only because he had a chance to have dinner with a hot chef. "Surely you can just sit with me, no?" He asked with such hope in his eyes.

Crowley generally smiled and sat down next to the angel and began to eat his stew. Just when Aziraphale bit into his sushi. "My, this sushi is excellent! Did you create this all by your self?' Aziraphale was not over joyed by the flavours and aromas from the sushi, he just didn't want to hurt the handsome mans feelings, for Crowley was a terrible chef indeed, but Aziraphale wanted to get onto Crowley's good books so he asked."I did yes, the restaurant is actually closed today so I'm the only on here." He smugly bragged to Aziraphale, causing the angel to smile at Crowley's child like behaviour. "May I ask, why did the restaurant close today?" Aziraphale quickly said so he had more time to enjoy his food.

"2 of my main workers here are engaged and there was a problem back at their home so they both had to leave. So I thought I'd stay just to cook for you. Thought it would be rude to ask you to reshedule so late." Crowley slowly answer as he was busy watching the cutie almost die from happiness whenever he took a bit put out he food. Crowley in fact had finished his stew already and Aziraphale had just begun on his Tuna steak. "Oh no, I would of understood, things like that happen all the time. That's life." Aziraphale happily said during a pause of him eating.

Next we know it the men are conversating much better now, with the odd flirtatious comment from either one of them. Overall the night went swimmingly. Ending on a high note as many would say. An exchange in numbers and each a quick kiss in the cheek.

Was it Crowleys cooking that made Aziraphale stay or his looks?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm going to try my best to write something else soon. I do have a lot of school work so no promises. ♡♡♡♡


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